2/3: Learn
Part of a demo day talk I delivered for StepFWD pre-accelerator years ago.
The story continues (1/3: Listen) with the same charismatic young woman who, after talking with her mentor, gathered her team, presented the problems and asked: “What do you all think we should do?”
It felt like the longest minute of silence in her life.
Then the awkwardness was interrupted by the most unexpected team member of them all: the one who had considered leaving the startup. He began asking questions about what customers were saying and challenging how interviews were conducted. Other team members answered and offered their perspectives on ways they could approach the customer interviews differently. They even suggested things to consider in the new iteration of their product. Pivoting was also discussed. Everything was on the table and what had been scheduled as an hour-long meeting stretched to three hours … and pizzas were ordered. Nobody wanted to go home, so they kept going.
During all this time the hero entrepreneur of the story just stood in awe, witnessing the miracle that was unfolding before her eyes. Her team was tossing ideas back and forth, most of which she hadn’t even known were possible. She caught herself asking questions because she genuinely needed to understand, to LEARN how to do things better or differently. She concluded that her team knew more about their competitors than she did and was ashamed to admit that she mostly disregarded them instead of learning from them.
Such is the power of listening!
We do that to understand the other party, be it a teammate, a customer or even a competitor, to learn about them or even about ourselves. It takes patience to listen, but it takes humility to learn. Being humble doesn’t mean we’re thinking less about ourselves; it means thinking about ourselves less and thinking about others more. How can we have an impact on those around us so that, in return, they have an impact on others? It’s the #givefirst mindset we ought to practise.
It means viewing our competitors as worthy rivals, people from whom we can learn and whom we can respect, even when we meet them on the battlefield.
But being humble is the last thing that crosses our minds when we think about a founder, entrepreneur or investor. Let’s be honest: what’s our mental image when we think about these roles? It’s the go-getter, right? The person who always has an answer, an opinion on any topic, showing no vulnerability, perched high up in their ivory tower. We see that in other domains too: in sports, politics or business. We celebrate aggressiveness, the iron fist, the stick and we consider the carrot to be for weaklings.
“Mental health is for spoiled brats”, as I’ve heard an investor say recently.
Let’s not mistake that posture for confidence; that’s impulsiveness, recklessness and cockiness. It’s shallow and it can (and will) affect our decision-making. Looking down on people, be it customers, competitors or other founders is short-term thinking. It’s about winning a battle today and perhaps tomorrow, but it’s losing the war.
Instead, confidence is when we have the courage to say: “I don’t know! I don’t know the solution to this problem, but I am willing and able to take on this challenge and see it through. I may not have all the information today, I may not have all the answers now, but I believe that, as a team, we can do it”.
And we don’t have to be loud to be confident; in fact, confidence can be quiet. Confidence isn’t something we’re born with, none of us are, but it’s something we can learn. As the stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said: “If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.”
It’s hard for us to be what we cannot see. Being humble means realising that our victories depend upon other people, while being confident is the willingness to take action on something that makes us uncomfortable.
So, let’s learn to be humble AND to be confident.
Continued at 3/3 Lead.